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We had a honeymoon!! After 5 years of marriage! We carted the kids off to my sisters for a week (thank you), and went to Turkey. We wanted to go a bit further than Europe but were also constrained to that 1 week of half term. My sister took a week off work too, so we couldn’t add on any days anywhere. With flights being so tight, we couldn’t really get any further. I looked at Thailand and Singapore, even Rio De Janeiro! However, Turkey fitted the bill for sun and beach, and flights.

Went to Bodrum. Olu Deniz was top of the list, but flights weren’t great to there. Would have missed 2 days as wouldn’t have arrived till 2 in the morning or summat, and then leave mega early on the last day. Char left all of this trip up to me, so a fair bit of pressure!

First bit was a fail. Not intentionally mind! Hotel I booked looked lovely. 5 Stars. Nice white and blue building. Beautiful infinity pool, smaller jacuzzi type pool. When we got there, it was a couple of weeks before season had properly started. Instead of the pools being pristine blue with clear water, they were green. Turns out they clean them next week before the season starts. Awesome. After a little whinge as the website said would be open, they said sorry and upgraded our room and gave us some fruit and that.

There was another pool which was fine, and indoor pool and all that, so wasn’t the end of the world!

Had a walk down to the beach. Was nice. As it wasn’t full season yet, it was fairly quiet. Some places were still finishing their painting and sorting their bars and that, others were fully open and enjoying the peace before they were over run by people like us. Chose a nicebar/restaurant thing on the beach, and relaxed. With a book. And no kids. Nice.

The restaurant was well cheap. Nice too! Apart from the pudding they gave us, some sort of milk-based thing. While we were there, a couple of dogs came and sat with us. When we left for a walk, they followed.Two dogs turned into three (not literally), and then four, and five! It was ace. Just cutting around with our little pack! They were all quite big too.

Stayed with us for about an hour. Turned around, went back to our new local, and found a cat. It was a nice heat there. Sometimes we needed the parasol, sometimes we didn’t. Walked back, found an ISIS holiday spot, and went home.

Bodrum Town

Next day, we got a taxi into the town. Stopped on a main road to see the amphitheatre. It’s ace as it’s just next to a main road. Awesome views over the town and the sea. Would have been ace back in the day, with them doing an Am Dram performance of Fiddler on the Roof or summat with the sun setting.

Walked through the winding streets, just heading down towards the sea. Was peaceful. Then came to the main bit and got lured into a restaurant promising the best kebab in town. It wasn’t. Walked through the shops bit, then to the harbour, and found a lovely café place on the beachfront. Spent ages here, reading, watching. Loads of folk in double denim. I pointed every single one out to Char. She got bored of that game quite quickly.

Kos

Next day, we decided to go to Kos. Why? Cos. Ha, get it?! We’d seen one of those ticket dudes who had a little beach shop in Bodrum, and we bought ferry tickets from him. We were his first customers of the season! Was an hour over to Greece by ferry. It was like a big bus, with rows of seats. On the Kos side, it took about half hour to get through customs. Stood outside in the sun, watching one custom worker getting through the whole ferry. Awesome. Luckily, they had a bit of sense and got people with kids through first, which I thought was fair.

Once through, we had a wander round. Only thing I wanted to see was Hippocrates’ tree. Which we did. It was a tree. With railings round it. We also saw a fair bit of destruction from the earthquake they had there the year before. 6.7 on the old Richter scale. Kos was nice, just a lot more expensive than Bodrum! Had a nice wander round. It was quite busy. Had lunch in square thing. Pizza for me. It’s always pizza for me. Oh, I also found another amphitheatre thing. I thought it would be interesting to see the difference between this and the one in Bodrum. Char didn’t. In fact, so much so that she left me go and see it on my own! I had to set up my phone to take a pic of myself.

Headed back to the ferry, got on, went to Bodrum, and went back to our local café to watch the sun go down. Was nice there. Peaceful and relaxed, yet a bustle on the street.

Next day, had a spa treatment and that. Was one woman in the spa who did the treatments. Char went for a chocolate body thing, I went for something else. Woman was nice, but she did this weird thing with my toes. You know when you hold hands with someone, and you interlock fingers, well she did that, but with my toes. It felt well weird!! After a while, the rest of it was relaxing. Had a sauna, had a swim, tidy. Went to the beach again and ended up seeing our mate at the beach hut and booked another trip! We were his first and second customers! We were gonna go scuba diving.

Scuba Diving

Car picked us up in the morning and took us to the sea, because that’s where the boat was. There was us two, and a couple of others who went. Minimal teaching, gave us wet suit and all that. Got us into the rig, and off we went! Was bloody freezing. Now, I hate the sea. I hate the salt water. I’m not great at swimming. Luckily, the guy was always next to us, doing the valve thing to make us go up and down. He would release mine, and just leave me on the sea bed, while he went to do summat else. I probably won’t do it again.

Awesome experience, seeing fish and that, but wasn’t a fan of the mouthpiece with water getting in, and purging and stuff. No ta. If I had one of the expensive full-face masks, I’d defo do it again. Char really surprised me, and was so happy she did it and as you can see enjoyed it! Straight in, and took to it like a fish to water. The fish wasn’t great at swimming, but defo was under the water! Had some pasta and that on the boat and headed back.

She was holding two massive lobsters.

I think ‘thumb up’ means ‘I want to surface’. Not sure mind.

All in all, I enjoyed Turkey. Well, Bodrum. It’s a big country. Some people may be a bit sceptical about going, but I would defo recommend. The people were really nice and welcoming, apart from one douche in the market. Food and that was cheap, sun was nice. Would happily take the kids another time.  

We went to Malta!! The wife booked this as flights werecheap, it was another country to tick off, even though it’s teeny weeny, andbecause it looked ace! We saw it on one of Cruising with Jane McDonaldprogrammes. I know, we watch some great tele. I didn’t really know too muchabout Malta, but the history is bonkers! Some of it predates Stonehenge and thePyramids in Egypt by over a thousand years! That’s well old. It’s also been‘owned’ by loads of folk. Just when trying to learn a bit of the lingo, you cansee the influences from history. Example:

Welcome is Merhaba, which is an Arabic greeting.

Thank you is grazzi, which is a bit Italian.

Good Morning is Bongu, with a funny accent on the g makingit a j sound, which is basically bonjour, French.

We then took it over in 1800, and gave it back in the 1950s,so there is a massive British feel about it, with their red phone boxes andpost boxes, driving cars on the left, and selling Waitrose stuff in cornershops! My friend said ‘It’s like living in 1980s Britain. A bit like Gibraltar,but not as shit’.

We flew to the airport, got an Uber equivalent to the place we were staying. I downloaded Taxify, just for ease. Public transport is alright like, but for a 16 minute car journey, it was over an hour by bus. Found the AirBnB, of course, and went for a wander to Valletta, the capital. We got a bus. £1.50 for any journey. This was a good deal at times, but others, when there were a couple of changes, not so much.

When we got to Valletta, there were loads of folk cutting about in fancy dress. Decent stuff too, not tin foil and a bin bag or anything. Turns out there was a massive carnival thing on today. We went round the city, saw some sights. It was fine to walk around the whole place, as it’s small enough. A lot of it is pedestrianised and that. Old buildings, fountains, big walls around it all.

Saw statue of Queen Victoria, orange trees, pigeons. Walked round to Birkirka Gardens, where they fire a cannon at 1200 an 1600 every day. They do a little speech and that, then try to sell you a teddy bear, or a tour to somewhere else, or for a fiver you can go and have a closer look. Fired one, and that was it. Carried on back and heard the carnival.

It was bonkers!! Loads of floats just sat in the road, each one playing louder music than the one before it. Kids and grown ups dressed in all sorts, dancing and that. Everyone looked proper miserable though! Had a walk around it for a bit, but it turned out too much. It was really disorientating with the Cotton Eye Joe blasting into one ear, and Siberian hip-hop in the other, whilst being pelted with giant confetti and dodging mermaid tails.

We went to find a bus, and went home to our apartment thing. Once again, Google Maps is amazing. Tells you which bus to get, timings all sorts. Thanks Google. This is not a sponsored ad or anything. Do Google even do adverts? I doubt it. Remember Ask Jeeves!? Wonder where he is now.

Gozo

Next day, we decided to go to Gozo. This is a smaller islandjust north of Malta, a sister island. It’s like a Dive Haven for divers andthat. We didn’t go diving. In-between the two, there is a tiny island with notraffic and one hotel called Comino or summat. I’ll Google this when I finish.Bus to Cirkewwa, 30 min Ferry to Mgarr. The bus the other side was properrammed! Like, 60 people on a 40 seater. Went to the main town, Victoria, andhad a McDonalds. More expensive than ours. They did these chips called Scoopand Go or summat. Shells of chips where you could pick up more dip. There was agirl watching 50 Shades of Grey on her iPad, proper loud! Bit inappropriate.Also saw an F&F shop! Like, three floors of Tesco clothes! Much moreexpensive than ours. Char took pics of what she wanted for the kids, andordered them online for when we got home!

We had wanted to go to a beach. I chose one which looked like it might have sand on, but I wasn’t sure. Turns out it didn’t. Char shouted at me. The choice was between the place where the Azure Window was, and another beach called Dwerja Bay down the coast. The Azure Window collapsed a few months before we got there, so that was annoying. Still, the place looked ace. Had a cool inland sea with a small cave inbetwixed it and the actual sea, which you can sail through. Kids just chucked stones into it for about half hour. Walked the coast bit which was well rocky, full of boulders and rock pools and that.

Had an ice cream, went back to the inland sea bit. Then, had to have a mad run up the hill to the bus which we saw coming down the hill, otherwise we would have had to spend another hour there! Not that much to do, especially as we had seen everything we wanted and it wasn’t the warmest of days! Got on a rammed bus, then changed to another rammed bus at Victoria to go back to the ferry terminal. Waited in the rammed waiting room thing to be rammed through a back set of doors as the main one was broken. Got to the rammed café and rammed some coffee down my throat. Rammed.

Got off the ferry and ran to a well busy bus stop and forcedour way onto it! Main thing I’ll take back from Malta is how busy the bussesare! We got off after nearly an hours journey at the place we had to get off,which is appropriate, and ended up having to walk through a tunnel on an almostdual carriage way road! A bit silly, but was our only option. Got back, went tobed.

Next day was our last. We do normally leave our bags with the AirBnB person, but this time because of busses and locations and where we needed to be, made more sense to take with us. Ended up getting a taxi to the Science Centre, Esplora. Another interactive place for kids. We got there and dropped our bags off. As we were chatting to the almost identical looking 5 receptionist type ladies, a song came on their playlist. It went like this – ‘Smack that, all on the floor, smack that give me some more, smack that till you get sore’, bit awkward in front of the kids! The women were well embarrassed and jumped up to change it!

We then walked to a sandy beach. It was rubbish! Smaller than a sandpit from Argos, but full of rubbish! Walked back to the Esplora. Went round for a couple of hours, but wasn’t great. Things were broken and that, loads of school kids taking over the rooms. Kids enjoyed though.

Walked to the main town to get some food. Meelie knockedover Stan’s drink which went everywhere. I had a minging pizza. Not great allround! Taxi to airport, home. When we got to Gatwick, we had booked a hotelnearby. Stan fell over in the car park when we picked our car up from PurpleParking. Cut his knees. Also turns out he dropped his new toy snake. A fact wedidn’t find out till we got to the hotel! I ended up doing a 25 min round tripto go and get it! Next day, we went to London. It might come next in the blogyou know! It might not.